uncledarryl's Blog

Through their genetics, I have become whole, again

Who is Darryl Eley?

Where Do I come from?

What did I do?

"I was born in Portsmouth, Virginia, a small town in southeastern Virginia. Living with my mother and five brothers, I learned how to deal with the workings of the world through extensive learning at home. I was exposed to a fast life when I lived in New York for two years, early in the my life. I forgot my past, for a short time, which inspired me to learn how to write. I began writing poetry at the age of nine when I was attending middle school. At the age of twelve, my interest in poetry changed to writing articles and essays. In 1978,at the age of thirteen, I became interested in writing autobiographies. I tested the waters by seeing how much I knew about myself. That is how the story began. The interest in history created an interest in finding out about my ancestors and their descendants.. I wanted to search back for the ancestors and then spread the family group sheets and pedigree charts so that all the families can see where they came from and who is in their family.Many pressures arised in my life. Despite a 14-year battle with alcohol, I came back from the emotional drain to bring together the purpose of my life. I was a form of Jonah when he was told to "preach God's message" but decided to go the other way.

I was swallowed up by the fish for14 years. When I realized the dream I was destroying, I woke up one day in June 1993 to begin to change my life. I was released by the fish and I went on the mission God sent me on. After the dream came back to life, I went on a mission to trace my family back as far as I could go and then spread the descendants as far as God would allow me to go in the past.

Now the final product has been completed for all to see. My memory was left intact and the history of my life was ready to get the information for my family. God purpose was fulfilled.

It was hot and steamy on August 15, 1979. Like all teenagers, the word "I'm bored" will run across the lips at anytime. I fell a sleep and was awakened into a dream with the backdrop of a cemetery. I didn't know what was going on and I became afraid. I walked cautiously around the graveyard. A voice came from the distance saying "find the spirit within, find the spirit within". The vision confused me in the beginning but as time past, I understood the message. I woke up and ran quickly downstairs. I was interested already in writing poetry, essays, autobiographies. I had been writing poetry since September 1974 and was ready for a new experience in my life. I asked my Aunt Jean, my mother's sister, to tell where the local library was located in Portsmouth. She told me where it was so I got permission to go to the library because the Holy Spirit was guiding me to go to the library. The second message came as I entered the library. "You are here", the spirit told me.

I entered the Portsmouth Public Library which was located on Court Street in the downtown section of Portsmouth, Virginia. The library was larger than any library I had ever seen in my life. I walked in and went to the front desk for assistance. They directed me to go the Reference Desk, which was located in the middle section of the library. A Caucasian lady was sitting at the desk. Her name was Susan Baker, a librarian. She asked me what I needed help in finding anything. I wanted help in finding a book on writing autobiographies. She said, "Well we don't have any books on writing autobiographies, but we do have some books on genealogy". She reminded me of the story of "Roots by Alexander Palmer Haley". She walked me to the shelf, where the books were located and I began to get eager about getting the right books.

I picked out about four to five books on the same subject. The first book that I read was "Genealogy for Beginners" The book was very informative. It gave a detailed description of how to interview older members of the family and how to search for records on the local, state, and federal level. The book also gave forms such as Pedigree Charts, Individual Records, Family Group Sheets, and location of Genealogical Libraries and History Centers.

I began to realize that this was my calling. I believe that God commissioned me at this time to do this project. For all the questions that had to be answered, I asked them all. Some questions were answered and some were not answered. I began to put together the history of my immediate family which included his mother and her siblings. I wrote the known facts about my grandparents, great grandparents, mother and father. I wrote all the information about the children of the union that were already known. I called all the relatives that I knew who lived in the surrounding area of Portsmouth, Virginia. I got some of the names of the extended family but I had some of the most crucial interviews with members of both my mother's parents' families. I began to run out of information from my main sources, my mother and grandmother. The history of my father's family was few if none at all. I decided to give up, until the Christmas of 1979.

After having the first Christmas in Portsmouth since 1971, my family and I had a wonderful time at our grandparents house, Jessie and Joseph Faison. I wanted to begin writing about the family as I interacted with everyone. My zeal to trace family history was getting stronger and stronger. My family was closer than ever and I wanted to do them proud by tracing the family history as far back as I could trace it. I told my family that I was about to trace the family history and they were happy. My dream came back alive. I wanted to find the oldest relative that could give me information about our family and my grandmother told me about her sister, Alma who lived in Portsmouth.

On April 12, 1980, I visited his grandmother, Vera's sister, Alma Carrie Bynum Davis who lived in the Effingham Plaza Senior Community on Madison Street near the Portsmouth Naval Shipyard. She was about 78 years old at the time. I rang the button on a intercom which rang to her apartment. She came to the speaker and asked who I was and she let me upstairs. I took the elevator and as I was walking down the hallway, I saw a lady standing at her door in the hallway. It was Aunt Alma. Alma Davis gave me information that carried him back to the days of Solomon Bracy and Jane Bracy , his Negroe daughter who was born in Garysburg, North Carolina. They talked a while about events that happened in the family and then I left for home. I analyzed the information and came up with a plan to get all the information. Alma died in May 1981 and was buried in Olive Branch Cemetery near City Park-Portsmouth. I visit her grave every time I am near the area for the great help she did in saving the dream.

After graduating from high school, in June 1983, I had the dream becoming a lawyer but those dream when changed when problems in high school caused my grades to fall in 1980-81. But, I continued on as a genealogist, singer, worker, and the many other things that shaped my life. But the next series of events, opened the door for the future of an African American family.

A lady but the name of Mildred Potts was living at the home of my mother, were I learned that I had relatives in the area of Brighton were I resided in 1984. Around the corner was the Pearson family of Peach Street. One of the children owned a real estate company and many of them lived all over Portsmouth. That same year, Norwood Pearson died harshly when he was murdered on the school campus of a university in North Carolina. Their mother and three children lived on Peach Street. They were raised on the end of Peach Street. When I met her, they were planning to begin having family reunions. The first family to have the reunion was the Pearson family. I missed the family reunion. My cousin Bernice Vaughan said something that hurt me so dearly that it motivated me to continue on "You act like you aren't part of this family". I didn't attend the reunion until July 1986.

In 1986, the Davis Family had a family reunion that I will never forget. It was held at the YMCA on Effingham Street in Portsmouth. That was the day that for the first time, I presented my findings to the family. I was recognized as the family historian from that time on. I began to build relationships with my family that would last till today. Thomas Davis and his family would be one of the closest family that would help me move on in learning about the Davis family.

The family was getting bigger so I decided to concentrate on other side of the family such as my grandfather-Roger's family.

My grandfather had a sister in Portsmouth. Her name is Minnie Pollard, the mother of six children. I learned alot about my grandfather's family through the eyes of the people who were a part of that family. Her siblings lived in the larger cities such as Chicago, Boston, and Detroit. She told me about my great grandparent, Dorphus and Emma Parker. I have spoken to my great grandmother and told her what I was doing and she said for me to do the family proud. She died in October 1984 at the age of 87 in Detroit, Michigan. Her name has been the cornerstone of conversation about the unity of this family even today. My grandfather died when I was 7 month old in Dorchester, Massachusetts, but the family began to expand in its history as time moved on. I learned all I could know about my grandfather's family.

The reality of most of Black America was the absence of the paternal guidance of the biological father. My father had to fight the Vietnam War which may have been the factor in taking away the only true connection with my father. We were separated until 1968, when he returned for Vietnam. My father was never the same. He suffered from post-dramatic stress disorder which made it difficult for him to cope with his family and friends with being reminded of his experience overseas. After a brief visit while I was living in Chuckatuck, my father, his sister Nettie, her husband, Jimmie and their children, Vanessa, Karl, and Shonda, my father and I were separated for eleven years. At the age of 17, I decided to do all I could to find my father. I asked my mother many questions that would lead to finding him. After many tears and alot of searching, a vision came on January 8, 1985 to go to the same library that I started my research. I went upstairs were the telephone directories were located for selected cities and all the boroughs of New York City. In the Bronx Directory was my father name. I called the number and after 11 years, we talked for the first time.

I visited my father in New York City and for the first time in eleven years seen my Aunt Nettie who lived in Suffolk. I learned alot about his family. For nine years, we had the chance to know each other because of February 16, 1994, my father died from complications of cancer. We buried him at Crossroads Baptist Church and I truly believe I was at the Crossroads of my life.

I stood in front of my father's grave with tears in my eyes wondering why. I said, "Pop, its over. I love you. No matter what you ever done, I still love you. I will represent you to the best of my ability. God brought you in my mother's life to have one child. I am going to make you proud. I see you soon. I kissed my hand and touched his grave and walked away. The test of my true identity began.

I began to help children by working for Portsmouth Parks and Recreation as a Recreation Aide III. While working there, I began to perfect the desire that still burned in me as I worked and wrote and lived in Portsmouth. I formed an organization called H.I.G.H. I.M.P.A.C.T. Entertainment which lasted from 1993-1995. I decided to put my family history on hold until I got my life back together from many year of substance abuse. While performing I learned to discipline myself to learn how to control thought and mental repetition. In 1996, I felt like I was in control of my destiny now.

I met Esther L. Taylor Jenkins in February 1996. I felt that it was time to settle down with some one who would strengthen the body of the story by allowing me to live and use my thought as freely as possible. She stuck behind me in the good and the bad times, despite the many drawbacks for me. No matter how tough it got, she still continued to stand beside me. Her kids, TJ, Shawn, and Kimberly respect me as a father despite their own father absence out of their lives. Together, they are the strongest force behind what I was doing. My job situation was getting worse and worse. Virginia wasn't the place to be at the time. She said, "Don't worry about what people are saying, they don't want you to make this project work. Keep going forward until you fulfill your dream. She persuaded me to go to New York to find someone who could help me reach my genealogy goals. In 1998, on a five week trip to New York, from July 5, August 14, 1998, I met a man who gave me a chance of a lifetime.

While living in New York to find the person I was looking, my oldest brother George directed me to go to the Moshulu Library in Riverdale, New York. They didn't have alot of family history information. I was about to leave the library when I found the address of a Family History Center for the Church of Latter-Day Saints on Columbus and 65 St. near the New York Center of the Arts. At the same time a couple from Provo, Utah was on a mission for the Head Church in Salt Lake City. They were volunteers at the Family History Center. I went in the library before it closed. A man was standing at the front desk greeting everyone who came in the Center. His name was Elder Ellis Hancey. His wife, Dora also worked in the Library. He asked me if I needed assistance, I said no. He gave a short tour of the Center and showed where they had the Computer". He and Elder Hancey began to talk about my family history and the many names that he had already written down but not in a record by itself. I began inquiring about a program he saw in Portsmouth at the library called "Personal Ancestral File". The file would organize all his names into one family. Mr. Hancey pulled up the program and began teaching me how to use the program.

Elder Hancey left me in the room as the many names in my head began to come out on the computer program. When the Elder came back he had about 100 names already in the file. He was amazed how I never had to picked up paper for the first 100 or more names on his program. He sat down and says, "You really don't know what you are putting together do you?" I said, "No, I don't". "You may have been brought here for a reason because I have never seen a Black family history as large as this and you have about 1000 names to put in this program", said Mr. Hancey. I was invited to dine with the couple. They took a picture of me to take back to Utah when they leave after their mission. They discussed about the possibility of getting a file sent to Salt Lake City as the largest Black family history submitted to the Family History Center. I agreed to send a copy to the Church of Latter-Day Saint only if I do the submittal through Elder Ellis Hancey. He wrote me many letters that inspired me to continue on with my family history compilation. If it wasn't for Mr. Hancey, the level of my research would have never got me this far.

On January 4, 1999, Mr. Hancey wrote this letter to me

" Dear Darryl,

It has been quite some time since we have had any contact with you but that doesn't mean we have forgotten you or that we don't still for you very often. Darryl, we still count you as one of our dear friends and are glad that we had the opportunity to share some time with you and get acquainted with you. One of the reason we wanted to contact you is that we still the family history file and wondered if you would consider letting us submit it to the ancestral file for all the good it would do for other researchers whose family connect to yours. We are fully aware how much help it would be to other people and how much they ought to thank you for all the hours, days, and years you worked to bring such a record into existence and we could understand if you wanted to keep it to yourself for your family but after being around you and feeling your giving spirit, I would venture to guess you would be willing to see it eventually available in 3200 Family History Centers throughout the world. We would completely respect your judgement in this matter and would never submit it without your consent, but in truth, we would jump for joy if you give us the okay to do it."

I gave the okay on February 11, 2000. The file was small at the time but they continued to help me.