supertramp's Blog

I'm sure many have seen this but I thought it was funny but so true. Just for grins.

SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007

Scenario 1:
Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.

1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again.  Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.  


Scenario 2:
Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins.  Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark.  They are both charged them with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.


Scenario 3:
Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.

1957 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal.  He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin.  He becomes a zombie.  He is then tested for ADD.  The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse.  Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang.  The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison.  Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist. 
 

Scenario 5:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations.  His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.  


Scenario 6:
Pedro fails high school English.

1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state.  Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist.  ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher.  English is then banned from core curriculum.  Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.   


 Scenario 7:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.

1957 - Ants die.
2007 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called.  Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism.  The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated.  Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again. 


 Scenario 8:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee.  He is found crying by his teacher, Mary.  Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job.  She faces 3 years in State Prison.  Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

  
This should hit every email inbox to show how stupid we have become!!

I am not an expert as to sports and stuff but I do like the Chiefs, good or bad. I haven't been around to read much here so I am gonna mention this and let those that are in the know add to it. The Chiefs, I have heard on the radio, are pretty far under salary cap and  the 2010 season the salary cap is exempt or something like that. They also have a few first round picks that our new GM really does not like to use, I heard he prefers picking from latter rounds. Whether that is true or not again check with the experts but where I am headed here is Julius Peppers from the Panthers is not looking to sign a long term contract with them. If they slap a franchise tag on him, a couple of fist round picks and the room we have with the cap and the need the Chiefs have for an impact defensive player, would he be good to pursue or do you think he is not what the Chiefs need? Or should we continue with the the youth movement and find our impact players in the draft?

Don't really know how acurate or true these are but it is hard to believe we tie up our courts with this ****! It is kind of funny to read but it is just something else to raise cost of insurance and the cost of everything else cause businesses have to pay the rising cost of insurance because of stuff such as. Sure most of you have seen these but as I said, it is kinda silly to read so here is a little humour;

It's time again for the annual 'Stella Awards'!   For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 79-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico where she purchased the coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right?

That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S. You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head. So keep your head scratcher handy.

Here are the Stella's for the past year :

7T H PLACE :
            Kathleen Robertson of Austin , Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her  ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.

6TH PLACE :
            Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

5TH PLACE :
            Terrence Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania , was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT , days on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental anguish.  Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish.

4TH PLACE
            Jerry Williams, of Little Rock , Arkansas , garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard.  Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.

3RD PLACE :
            Amber Carson of Lancaster , Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor - Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. Whatever happened to people being responsible for their own actions?

2ND PLACE :
            Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000 - oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.

1ST PLACE : (May I have a fanfare played on 50 kazoos please?)
            This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City , Oklahoma , who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich.  Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down, $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home