NaderChaser's Blog

Yes, I was indeed.  The show topic is WHY I HATE MEN/THE GREAT DATING DEBATE.  Yes this is right up my little alleyway!  BUT, I am not going to go because I know that there would be very personal questions and answers, and unfortunately, I still have a monor child and do not want to her privy to any of this.  BUT, I would love toshare my experiences in the dating arena after being married for 27 yrs and then single at 47.  So many weird men I have encountered and all their "issues" with sex blah blah blah.  Some real losers for sure. hahaha But isnt that cool that I was invited? Oneday, one day I will write all about my experiences. It will be along chapter.....

So, I started smoking again back in March 2008.  I had quit for over 22 years.  Then met a cop, dated him, started smoking over all the stupidness of him, and gradually came right back up to smoking about a pack a day.  I started for all the wrong reasons, like there is a good reason.  Even my mom dying didnt get me to smoke again.  i think it was almost like a rebel thing of me to do.  I was recently separated from my soont o be X, had a new relationship that went sour, so why not just rebel and do something that I can do if I want to kind of thing.  So I did.  At first, I remember getting a head rush, that was cool.  Then I would buy a pack and keep it in my liquor cabinet for the next weekend out.  One pack sometimes would last me three weekends.  Then I met someone on Mem weekend that drank alot and we always were going out.  So then, he was like, Oh, I dont date smokers.  I am like, Oh, I am not a smoker.  But I was.  Gradually I smoked more and more.  Almost burned down my apartment complex last month being a careless smoker.  Even that didnt make me stop.  I love smoking.  It relaxes me.  I sit and think and smoke. I dont care how much they cost.  Does any smoker really care?  Like that would be the only reason for them to quit smoking?  Hell no.  Addicts dont care how much their addiction costs.  I do like it and I dont want to think about when I am old and on oxygen like my grandma.  I could die tomorrow walking across the street, so I dont think bout the future.  But I dont want to be a smoker.  I hate the smell, I hate the coughing, I hate what others smell on my breath. And if I become serious with a non smoker, then what?  So I said that the first time I get sick, I will quit.  That is how I quit the first time back 22 years ago when I was pregnant with my son.  It is easy to quit when you are sick.  So I am sick.  Yucky stuff, coughing, sneexing, runny nose, head cold.  So my last cig was last night bout 9pm.  Yeah I missed it this morning getting ready for work. I miss it sitting here at work.  I miss it alot. It is definately a head game to be played.  You really are addicted to the habit of smoking.  I miss it alot.  We will see how good I can do.   Do not judge me though, I am definately not perfect.

 

It is now 10:00 am.  I have not smoked since bout 9pm last night.  Went to buy a pack at the gift store cuz I wanted to go outside to smoke one just to see if it tasted good.  They didnt have my brand, so I didnt do it.  Would have cost me $6 also, but you know, I am an addict so that didnt even matter to me.

 

It is now 10:35.  I went out to smoke with a friend.  Her brand is a generic brand and it tasted real bad.  Wanted to see though if I really wanted it.  I went back inside and my hands stunk and my coat stunk.

Oh yeah...member those days?  I couldnt wait til winter break.  I at this time, had already found out what I was getting for Christmas and what was wrapped under the tree already.  I was a snooper.  I unwrapped all my gifts and carefully peaked.  Even wore a sweater that was wrapped up for me.  Of course, I immediately came home put it back into the same box using the same tape.  I was good at it too.  Even when I was married, I unwrapped a gift from my X and used it.  It was a big pan and I needed a big pan to cook rice krispie treats in.  So anyways, getting out of school for what seemed like an eternity was cool.  I slept in everyday, partied every night.  One time, my best friend Susan's mom was selling their house.  They had already moved out and it was vacant.  Clean and vacant.  So what a better place to have a rave party huh?  So, we broke into the sliding glass door (that was easy back then) and had us one hell of a party.  The carpet was a light cream color.  Big mistake.  We could only use the bathroom light cuz it was the only room that didnt have a window so the neighbors couldnt see us all in there.  There must have been close to 35 kids in there by the time the local word got out.  So the next day, here are all these foot prints leading directly around the house to the sliding glass door.  Busted.  We got into alot of trouble.  Her mom still yells at us for that one.  Cost her alot of money to clean our mess up.

I had a party once when my parents were out of town.  I was 18.  You would think I woukd know better than to have a keg party and charge admissions.  Someone shoved their fist up into our porch light fixture and broke it.  There was beer alll over the carpet.  Someone stole the keg faucet.  Someone put a hole onto the wall from the front door handle.  Someone stol the knobs off of the fricken stove.  I go to cook something the next day and there is nothing there to turn!  Oh, my parents really got mad at me.

Now I have kids of my own.  A 16 yr old who is just like me.  Oh my.  Wonder what hell she will put me through.

Does anyone know of a Boy Scout group selling shriner circus tickets?  North of the river please.  My son's group used to sell them for $1.00  I think this circus is alot better than the Ring-a-lin-a-dingbat circus, plus it benefits children!  Let me know and I can contact you and pick them up!

Do you speak english or what?


So, I go to Wendy's drive thru and order two number 5's (Ultimate Chicken Grill), he says what would you like to drink? I say then....Oh I wanted the sandwich only. Which is not the meal, but the sandwich. So then I get to the pick up and get the sandwiches, we go park to eat them and I open mine and......Ok, it was a sandwich only.  A bun and a peice of grilled chicken.  Not anything else but bread and chicken.  OMG.  Can you believe this? So I go back inside and tell the first girl(english) that I ordered The Ultimate Grill Sandwich only, not the meal, and show her.  She stares at me.  I am like, doesnt anything else come on this sandwich? She says yes, I will send it back.  Good, you just do that! So she gives it to another worker(mexican) and explains that I wanted everything on it. So then the second worker(mexican) walks over with two new sandwiches and gives them to me and looks at me and says, Hamburger? OMG, are you joking here? I said, ummmm NO, I want an Ultimate Chicken sandwich with everything that the menu says it has on it, is that it? Yes she says, then looks at her manager like she needed interpretation here....Ok, I am gonna make sure, so I open up the sandwich and it has almost everything except the honey mustard, which it says it is suppose to have on the drive thru that I went thru like 25 minutes ago! So then the manager comes over, I say to her, "I am getting real pissed here, can I pls have my untimate chicken grill with honey mustard and EVERYTHING? So I finally get the two Ultimate Grill Chicken sandwiches, but before I leave I annouce to whoever gives a crap that if we had english speaking workers working here, they might have been able to get it eight the first time! Ya think? Reminds me of the guy who ordered happy meals with ketchup and cheese only, and he gets home and his kids see their buns with cheese and ketchup only!

Well, I finally ventured to the Power & Light District downtown.  I have to say, I so enjoyed myself.  We paid for valet parking-$6.00 can't even touch that!

The place was packed, but even so, I was able to get down on the floor and dance my little butt off.  I loved the music they played! I was truly in my element! I am wondering though what are they going to do when it is like in the 100's in the summer?  It was already warm in there since it was all outside.  The bathrooms didn't have a long line which is good. We tried to get into a club-the bowling alley-which was weird in itself that a bowling alley would have a club, but I could hear the music and couldn't wait to get my groove on again.  One of the guys in our little possy had too baggy of shorts, so they wouldn't let him in.  Ok, I kinda agree.  The line at what seemed to be the only bar downstairs that you could get a mixed drink, was packed.  The drink cost $7, so only had one the whole night.  Mainly though because I was dancing and didn't care!  It was like one huge rave! I will definantely be going back again, as I am tired of the riff-raff up north of the river-and I live here! I would say to dress up abit, I was in jeans with holes but they still let me in, but I did kinda feel underdressed abit.

Finally, May is over! Whew, what a long BLEEP month May was.  I hate the whole month of May for my own personal reasons, and I aways look forward to JUNE!

June used to be when we always went on our family vacation.  I would start planning it in January.  It was for the most part, any place I wanted to see or visit, so then I would do all this research and present it to my family. I think the most funnest one was when we went to Colorado in August.  Man we went white water rafting, climbed mountains, shopped, saw dust devils(that was way cool), went to a drive in theater hotel, went to the dunes-never knew there were sand dunes in Colorado even an alligator farm.  Had a blast.

So, June is also the start of the summer.  I have my daughter now with my full time.  Her and her friends have alreay been swimming in our pools after hours, playing tennis, working out, just hanging out like good teens do.  I missed her while I had been gone. Thank God she does not drive yet, so I dont have to worry about that yet.  I want her to, but I have a phobia, since my mom died in her wreck.  She can walk to a job nearby where I live.

So I am happy tomorrow is June, I will have a June 1st party! Yeah! But not go downtown now because there is going to be a soberiety checkpoint there on Sat night-crap

So, yeah, big deal.  I know I know...I am still a mother.  You never can get away from that one.  They follow you wherever you go in life.  Thought once they got bigger they would just leave me alone, but no they are still there. I am just kidding.  I can recall all the mothers days in the past.  All the little things they made, they were so proud of them.  I still have them all.  Wished I could go back to those days. Not really, but thought it would sound good to say.  I dont miss the screamin, arguing, yelling, torturing.  Sean used to torture the hell out of Holly.  He knew exactly how to push her panic buttons.  She would screammmmmm. She knew exactly how to counter attack.  I knew they still loved each other though. Still to this day, Sean knows how to make people panic. 

I can remember every yeadrplanting flowers around the big tree in the front yard.  Oh how I miss that stupid, ant infested, oak tree,  I was there today.  Had to get a hat,  It was raining really bad and the street was flooding.  I knew the basement was probably backing up.  I didnt even go back in to check.  I dont care. I hate going over there.  I try not to. So I can remember planting the flowers on the mothers day right after my mom died.  They whole family went with me to pick out "The color of the year" of impatience to plant. Boy now theres a correct word for a flower.  Impatience, because you really have to have patience to plant those little fricken flowers! So Holly is all of three and she says, "Mommy, can I help you? I have a poon".  She meant a spoon, so of course she is helping me with her poon.  So after she plants her flower and mmoves on aroudn the tree, I go behind her and replant it deeper.  That was the most memorible moment ever.  I remember the breeze blowing in the yard, and her in her little short overalls and little white shirt.  Her long hair blowing in her face,  She had the longest hair ever.  It was beautiful.  I remember crying my eyes out when we cut it.  But we both wanted it short.  She danced all over the hair place afterwards. She thought she was so big.

And Sean.  He was so hyper! OMG, what the hell happened to him? Everyone thought he had ADHD. He probably did, but we were not going to medicate him.  He is so lathargic now! What happened? And his little voice was so high pitched.  I can remember the exact day he started calling me Mother instead of mommy or mom.  I hated that word Mother.  It sounds so formal, like I beat the hell out of my kids and make them call me that.  I miss them calling me mommy. Holly never has called me mother unless she is embarrassed at me or something.  Then she is like, "Mother" OMG Stop it! Ok, well I deserve that, I do.  But I love to embarrass them to death!  My retaliation for all the times they embarrassed me!  All the times Sean would yell in the chekout like, "Your not my mother"!!! Because I wouldnt buy him something. "Yeah" I would say back to him. "Your mom would have beat you!" or I would say back to them, "I am telling your mom that you were not behaving today!" So I did get back at them. 

Now my little Sean has a baby all of his own.  Makes me feel so old. Hard to believe sometimes he has made it this far without me.  I know he thinks he has made it without me, but I have always been there right behind him in his shadows.  I will never go away...oh man I sound like an old witch or something...hahahah  And Holly, she thinks she is so grown up.  She isnt, and I am not gonna let her.  I am right behind her too all the damn time.  They just dont know it.  It is what we mothers do.  They are our life, our existance. I will never be out of their lives, no matter what they may think!

I could get all sad right now and right about my mom, but Im not.  I usually ignore the day, with the exception of being with my own kids.  They both understand I hate the day.  Then the next day was my moms Bday, so yeah, the whole month of May sucks.  So Oh well.  Move on, get over it, wait until June, then breathe deep.

I was going to write a blog about short term memory loss, but I forgot what I was going to say! Just kiddin.  Actually, I do suffer from this.  About 11 years ago, my mom died in a horrible car accident.  She was not wearing her seatbelt and was partially thrown from her car which rolled upside down on I-29 & Barry Rd overpass.  I was at the school eating lunch with the kids.  I came home and my dads car was in my driveway.  My sisters was too.  I knew something was wrong.  I went inside and my sister took my into the hallway, she was crying.  I remember seeing her mouth words, but didnt understand what they were.  So, my brain BLEEP down.  My mom was my best friend in my whole world.  No one will ever come close. My brain just completely shut down on me.  I know now why.  I had to deal with some hard things and in order for me to get through the next few days which seemed like months, my brain just went numb.  I had to cope and this was how my mind went.  Just numb.

So, years later, I am getting better, but I still have memory loss, especially when it comes to people, places, or events or just things in general.  Whenever I first meet someone, like an employer, or co-worker, or a date, I have to tell them this so they dont get mad at me in the future over something I said but then said I didnt say or do or whatever.

Most people are ok with this, but then there are some who take ti to the next level.  I met this girl where I work and she and I became friends.  She also met a guy who she really liked. Ok, let me just say here that I meet soooo many people at what i do.  I see so many people, talk to so many people, give my card to so many people every single day! So she likes this one guy, and she goes out with him.  She tells me all about him, and one night introduces him to me at a bar.  Ok, again, let me just stop here and say, WE WERE AT A BAR! I was socializing, drinking, and having a great time.  I do not remember what you boyfriend looked like!  So, she tells me one day at work that, "Hey, #### stopped by and said he talked to you lkast friday". Ok, really? I dont think so.....but I dont remember actually. So she gets all weird on me like I am lying or something about seeing her boyfriend.  Ok, then she says to me the next day, "So why did you lie to me about seeing #####?, ummmm I didnt lie.  I said I dont remember what he looks like or who aIl I talked to on Friday, I dont remember washing my hair this morning, let alone remember your boyfriend.  So, the next day she is like, "So why would you purposly lie to me about talking to me boyfriend? So, I am thinking, maybe she has short term memory loss also! Anyways, it is real hard for me to remember where I see people I meet from my past.  I try to put on a good show and pretend, and thus far I have been real good at it! I really feel like that movie, 50 first dates with Drew Barrymore, go rent it, it is great!

So here is a random question.  When you enroll your child in preschool, and you have to prove that they had all their shots, do they then verify the pediatrician or call them or how do they really know if the child had all those shots? I am just wondering, so dont ask me why. So perhaps someone who is a preschool teacher at a church or something can tell me how they verify the shot records.

Ok, so at the end of April, I am going to another managers meeting in Philly.  Everytime we go, the company goes above and beyond making us feel like one big family.  I love this company to death!  Anyways, I was thinking about taking samples of Kansas City to share.  Can you guys help remind me what types of things (food) I can take that are locally made here in Kansas City.  I know like Russel Stovers, all the BBQ stuff, used to have GUYS, but what else?  I forget so many of them!

 

Thanks my blog buddies!

Ok, so at the end of April, I am going to another managers meeting in Philly.  Everytime we go, the company goes above and beyond making us feel like one big family.  I love this company to death!  Anyways, I was thinking about taking samples of Kansas City to share.  Can you guys help remind me what types of things (food) I can take that are locally made here in Kansas City.  I know like Russel Stovers, all the BBQ stuff, used to have GUYS, but what else?  I forget so many of them!

 

Thanks my blog buddies!

So... should a 46 yr old wear jeans with smalls holes in the legs? Ok, well my 16 yr old daughter and I went shopping last night for her birthday.  I came across a sale-2 pair olf Pac Sun jeans for $55.  Ok, well I will humor myself while I await my 16 yr old lookign for her clothes.  What else shall I do.  I tried to lay down on the shoe bench.  Too boring. Plus I couldn't keep my eye on my purse clearly.  So I decide to try on a pair of Pac Sun jeans.  Ok, so here is my size.  9 reg.  Ok, I have not been  a 9 since .....hmmmm awhile.  So I try them on.  Ok, well they fit ok.  How do they look.  nevermind there is a mirror inside my dressing room, I go outside,  The same time my daughter who is in a size 3 comes out.  We both stand there in front of the same mirror.  It is like we are twins, We both stand in fron of the same mirror, lookign at our butts, checking out our stomach, sucking in our stomachs, looking at our butts again, looking at our stomachs again, then our butts, then "Do I look fat to you"?. no, "Do I look fat to you"? No, "does my butt look fat to you"?, No but does my butt look flat to you? Yes I said FLAT. So we are turning and twisting every direction to make sure we look just right, whatever that is at 46. So then it is then that I realize that my jeans have faded rips in them.  One on one leg and three ont he other.  BUT, they look good on my butt, so I an thinking, ok, well does it out-weight the fact that my butt looks good bvut they have small pre-determined rips in them? Ok, it does. So I get them. I hate stereotyping.  I hate that I love the clothes that society says I cannot or should not wear.  Ok, I promise I wont wear tube tops.  I hated those even when my boobs were perky.  Remember when your boobs were perky?  Yeah, that will never happen again,  The only time my boobs get perky is when I am doing a hand stand. So I am excited to wear my new jeans, Hopefully these will not rip like my other ones did one a date one cold winter evening at Planet Sub.  Yep, ripped right down the butt.  Thought I felt something wet, like I had peed myself.  That would have been more my age.  Peeing in my pants.  It was actually the coldness of the fact that it was 10 degrees outside and I had thought this was the perfect night to be earing a thong.  Yep...a thong at my age.  wow- can you picture it in yoru head right now? Me in a thong.  Ok, well enough, it was pretty funny.  I have been thru 3 pair of these same brand of jeans.  You would think I would have learned my lesson by now.  Do not buy these jeans anymore, BUT they look so good on me-at least I think they do.  Gotta love jeans.....

Yes, Mentos.  I have never had a mentos until this past month.  I have heard of them.  I have seen them explode in a pepsi or coke 2 liter bottle when you drop one in.  Perhaps that is why I never tried them until recently.  I drink alot of coke and what if I were to forget and take a mentos then a sip of coke?  So, anyways, I really appreciate good breath.  I am a salesperson who stands very close to my customers.  I always have fresh breath.  Usually it is from gum or something like those little dots that taste like listerine or those paper slips that when you put them into your mouth they then stick to the roof and disolve instantly.  Anyways, so I always have an instant breath fix within reach.  So....one of my employees had some mentos in our drawer.  I tried one.  Yeah, very confusing for me.  It felt like a hard mint going in, then gum to chew, then it is gone.  So now just in the last week, I have bit my lips, inside of my lips and all around the inside of my mouth because I am confused by mentos.  I chew them, then they disappear but I keep chomping because I am confused by mentos thinking it is like gum but its not.  So, I just need to stay away from mentos.

Just thought I would share........

So here it is New Years Eve again.  Wonder what I will do tonight.  It has been a wild last few months for me leaving my husband after being together for over 27 years.  I can remember back to some of my New Years Eve festivities.  Some were ok, some were fun some were plain boring.  Some I fell asleep even before midnight.  I remember shooting a real old gun at my grandparents house one year.  I also remember once when I was say....15, going to a party at one of my sisters friends house. They were older than us by about 4 years.  My and my best friend Tracee were "allowed" to go because the guy liked my sister. So we are sitting at the table in the kitchen where all the boose was at.  We thought we were sooooo cool because now we could go back to school after the holidays and brag about being at Rodney's party. So we are drinking margaritas, and when no one was looking we would pour a bunch of margarias from the bottle into our cups.  We were getting hammered, laughing and joking with people who would come in to the kitchen to get refills. So we thought we were pretty cool by now.  Rodney comes into the kitchen and grabs the bottle of margaritas and it is now empty because we drank it all and were drunk!  So Rodney holds up the bottle and is yelling, "What the he** happened to all the margarita mix?" So we are sitting there and he looks at us.  We didnt know who.......so here we thought we were all that, so cool, getting drunk at a party with older kids on margarita mix. Hahahaha, that still makes me laugh my butt off.