1. The earliest Spring
in US history has arrived
2. A sculpture of President
Obama has magically appeared on Mount Rushmore
3. Obama has started
the first real full-time job in his life (He was a part-time state legislator,
part-time law professor, and part-time US Senator when he wasn’t
running for President-Don’t mention his “community organizing”
job-trust me-you don’t want to go there.)
4. There is now nothing
above Obama’s pay grade
5. I have decided to
support Obama, but not his presidency. (I’m an Iraqi war vet-If
the liberals can support me but not my mission, then I can support Obama
but not his mission)
6. Michelle Obama is
proud of her country for the second time in her adult life
7. Al Sharpton is no
longer the spokesman for Black America (this one is for real, fortunately)
8. Obama has devised
a clever plan to get Hillary out of the country (this one is for real
too)
9. People in wheelchairs
who make eye contact with Obama can now walk
10. The US tax code
has been simplified enough that Obama’s own appointees can now understand
it and pay their taxes
11. The plumbing problem
under my sink that I was afraid to call a plumber about and hoping it
would fix itself, has fixed itself
12. My chronic shyness
has disappeared
13. Governor Blago
has become ethical
14. The obnoxious ShamWow
guy is off my television set
15. White guilt in
America has disappeared. I am free at last to be a typical white person.
16. Chuck Norris has
cried for the first time ever
17. New Orleans has
finished rebuilding. But they still have a dumb mayor. Obama is working
on this.
18. Brett Favre has
retired sparing us from another teary-eyed news conferences from a grown
man (I can only hope)
19. Never before seen
home movie footage of Paris Hilton has been found
20. The magic force
fields created by the Gun-Free Zone signs around our schools have started
to work
21. Dick Cheney has
returned to the 9th level of Hell
22. Left wing protestors
have started looking for gainful employment
23. Cigarettes and
second-hand smoke no longer cause cancer
24. The Obama’s
have found a church that isn’t Afro-Leninist and prejudiced
25. Obama has kicked
the Detroit Lions out of the NFL
Pa. man considered bank error ‘a gift from God’Bank error put more than $175,000 in couple's account; pair moved to Fla. from the
AP wire
BLOOMSBURG, Pa. - A Pennsylvania man said he
considered it divine providence when a bank error put more than
$175,000 in his and his wife's account.Fifty-year-old
Randy Pratt and 36-year-old Melissa Pratt face trial in Columbia County
Court on felony theft and conspiracy charges. They waived a preliminary
hearing Wednesday.
The
trouble started when a $1,772.50 deposit to the Pratts' FNB Bank
account showed up as $177,250 last summer. Police say that instead of
telling the bank, they withdrew the money, quit their jobs and moved to
Florida.
They were buying a house in the Orlando area when the mistake was traced.
Randy
Pratt told the Bloomsburg Press Enterprise he did attempt to ask the
bank what happened, but was ignored. He said he considered the money "a
gift from God."
The couple gave away thousands of dollars, including $25,000 to a Florida church shelter for the homeless, he said.
Randy
Pratt remained in county prison. A judge denied a request to lower his
$100,000 bail. Melissa Pratt, who told the court she was estranged from
her husband, was free on unsecured bail.
from ABCNewsObama's Inauguration Has Been Financed Partially by Bailed-Out Wall Street Executives
The country is in the middle of the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression, which isn't stopping rich donors and the government from spending $170 million, or more, on the inauguration of Barack Obama .
The actual swearing-in ceremony will cost $1.24 million, according to
Carole Florman, spokeswoman for the Joint Congressional Committee on
Inaugural Ceremonies.
It's the security, parties and countless Porta-a-Potty rentals that really run up the bill.
The federal government estimates that it will spend roughly $49
million on the inaugural weekend. Washington, D.C., Virginia and
Maryland have requested another $75 million from the federal government
to help pay for their share of police, fire and medical services.
And then there is the party bill.
"We have a budget of roughly $45 million, maybe a little bit more," said Linda Douglas, spokeswoman for the inaugural committee.
That's more than the $42.3 million in private funds spent by President
Bush's committee in 2005 or the $33 million spent for Bill Clinton's
first inaugural in 1993.
Douglas said that this will be the "most open and accessible
inauguration in history," with members of the general public able to
participate on a greater scale than ever before.
"The
money is going toward providing events which we hope are going to
connect people, make them feel like we are all in this together and
reinforce the notion that when we pull together, we're stronger,"
Douglas said. "And we need to pull together to face the challenges that
are before us today."
Among the expenses: a Bruce Springsteen concert,
the parade, large-screen TV rentals for all-free viewing on the
national Mall, $700,000 to the Smithsonian Institution to stay open
and, of course, the balls, including three that are being pitched as
free or low cost for the public.
But there are plenty of rich donors willing to pick up the tab.
"They are not the $20 and $50 donors who helped propel Obama
through Election Day," said Massie Ritsch, communications director for
the Center for Responsive Politics. "These are people giving mostly
$50,000 apiece. They tend to be corporate executives, celebrities, the
elite of the elite."
Best Seats in the House
The biggest group of donors were none other than the recently bailed-out Wall Street executives and employees.
"The finance sector is well represented, despite its recent troubles,"
Ritsch said. "Those who worked in finance still managed to pull
together nearly $7 million for the inauguration."
The donors will get some of the best seats in the house for the
inauguration, as well as admittance to some of the best balls and other
events.
"I don't think that they're going to get a whole lot of face time with
the new president himself," Ritsch said, "but they are certainly
establishing themselves from day one as his biggest financial
supporters. And if there's something they need or to tell him down the
road, they will have an easier time doing that than everyone else."
Besides Wall Street firms, a large chunk of the money came from
employees at companies such as Microsoft, Google and DreamWorks
Animation, according to the Center for Responsive Politics.
Microsoft CEO Steven Ballmer and his wife, Connie, each gave
$50,000. So did Microsoft chairman and co-founder Bill Gates and his
wife, Melinda.
DreamWorks CEO Jeffrey Katzenberg and his wife, Marilyn, each
gave $50,000. Filmmaker and DreamWorks co-founder Steven Spielberg and
his wife, Kate, both also gave $50,000. And DreamWorks employees gave a
total of $275,000.
Billionaire investor George Soros and his family contributed $250,000
to the inauguration, and Google co-founder Larry Page and CEO Eric
Schmidt each donated $25,000.
Other big-name donors who gave $50,000 include filmmaker George
Lucas, artist Dale Chihuly, Los Angeles Dodgers President Jamie
McCourt. Citigroup managing director Raymond J. McGuire; Oracle
President Charles E. Phillips Jr.; actresses Halle Berry and Sharon
Stone; and Melvin Simon, co-founder of Simon Property Group, the
largest mall owner in the United States.
Despite all the donations, Obama's team has made donations much more restrictive than in the past.
Obama capped donations at $50,000 per person, which is still
more than 10 times what individuals could give to his campaign, but a
lot less than the $250,000 cap President Bush had at his last
inauguration. Contributions from corporations, labor unions, political
action committees and registered lobbyists are not being accepted by
Obama.
The Real Money
For Bill Clinton's second inaugural in 1997, contributions were capped
to $100. But that committee had some leftover money from the previous
inauguration and charged people up to $3,000 for inaugural tickets.
"We have the broadest fundraising restrictions in inaugural history," Douglas said.
The inauguration team is also posting all donations of $200 or
more on the Internet almost as quickly as they are coming in. The law
only requires it to disclose the information 90 days after the actual
swearing-in.
"The transparency of this inaugural fundraising effort is unprecedented
as far as we can remember," Ritsch said. "We see that as a positive
step and hope it's an indication that President Obama will use
technology to make government more responsive and transparent to
people."
That's all the play money. The bulk of cash will actually be spent on security and logistics.
In a letter to members of Congress, the governors of Maryland
and Virginia, and the mayor of Washington said that their combined
costs could exceed $75 million. That's on top of the $49 million the
federal government is spending, again mostly for security.
"The historical significance of inaugurating the first
African-American president of the United States alone makes the event
unprecedented," they wrote. "Given its political significance, we
expect that the event will be attended by hundreds, if not thousands,
of elected U.S. government officials and foreign dignitaries. Turnout
by the general public for the swearing-in ceremony alone is likely to
exceed 2 million. Transportation officials estimate that roughly 10,000
charter buses will enter the District with approximately 500,000 riders
alone, a number which nearly matches the city's population."
The emergency managers for the three jurisdictions said they
expect this to be the most complex and challenging inaugural in
history.
"The mass of attendees expected will challenge fire, law
enforcement, emergency medical and mass transit capabilities," the
governors and mayor wrote. "Moreover, the high volume of buses/traffic,
weather factor and other threats will create additional demands."
